Tuesday August 30

Today is day 17 here at IBMC.  I have been able to be pretty positive through a majority of these days.  Granted, I have had my moments!  I have tried my best to keep my 'eye on the prize' , but darnit, I am sick of this place!  I am going to take a quick moment to rant and complain and maybe I will get it out of my system!  I am sick of the food, I am sick of this room, I am sick of the wonderful nurses coming in the middle of the night and asking me if I am still doing ok :)  I am sick of daytime television reruns, and I am sick of being medicated.  I miss Slayton so bad it hurts, I miss DJ, I miss my house, my bed, my dogs...my freedom.  OK there I am done, now I am going to get up from the proverbial gutter and get my butt positive again.

There has been no real change in my status.  I am still having contractions but the contractions are not causing labor (I am not dilating), and the last few days have been rough.  I am having quite alot of contractions.  They don't really hurt, they are just annoying and uncomfortable. They upped my medications again, which makes me jittery and irritable,  which I am sure that you can't tell from this post :)  Yesterday my doctor told me that if I wanted I could stop taking the brethine, which I did not take any today.  The brethine is the medicine that makes me the most irritable, and jittery, although it does work at making me a little more comfortable contraction wise, so it is a give and take.

Next week will be 34 weeks.  The doctor told me yesterday that if I make it that far, then we would get me up and walking and monitor me as I become more mobile, and if I still have no change then they would send me home.  I have very mixed emotions about this.  Part of me is SOOOO ready to go home, but another part of me doesn't want to to go home without having this baby.  I feel like I have made it this long so what's a little longer?  A few of my nurses agree that I will not be going home without a baby so I guess we will just have to wait and see.  I am in God's hands and I know that he will keep me and Harper protected.