Today is day 17 here at IBMC. I have been able to be pretty positive through a majority of these days. Granted, I have had my moments! I have tried my best to keep my 'eye on the prize' , but darnit, I am sick of this place! I am going to take a quick moment to rant and complain and maybe I will get it out of my system! I am sick of the food, I am sick of this room, I am sick of the wonderful nurses coming in the middle of the night and asking me if I am still doing ok :) I am sick of daytime television reruns, and I am sick of being medicated. I miss Slayton so bad it hurts, I miss DJ, I miss my house, my bed, my dogs...my freedom. OK there I am done, now I am going to get up from the proverbial gutter and get my butt positive again.
There has been no real change in my status. I am still having contractions but the contractions are not causing labor (I am not dilating), and the last few days have been rough. I am having quite alot of contractions. They don't really hurt, they are just annoying and uncomfortable. They upped my medications again, which makes me jittery and irritable, which I am sure that you can't tell from this post :) Yesterday my doctor told me that if I wanted I could stop taking the brethine, which I did not take any today. The brethine is the medicine that makes me the most irritable, and jittery, although it does work at making me a little more comfortable contraction wise, so it is a give and take.
Next week will be 34 weeks. The doctor told me yesterday that if I make it that far, then we would get me up and walking and monitor me as I become more mobile, and if I still have no change then they would send me home. I have very mixed emotions about this. Part of me is SOOOO ready to go home, but another part of me doesn't want to to go home without having this baby. I feel like I have made it this long so what's a little longer? A few of my nurses agree that I will not be going home without a baby so I guess we will just have to wait and see. I am in God's hands and I know that he will keep me and Harper protected.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Thursday August 26
Today was a pretty good day. I had several visitors that helped to brighten my day. My best friend Brooke had a beautiful baby girl on August 17th, so I did not get to be there to help welcome Mallory James into this world. Today Brooke and Mallory visited me up here in the hospital. Mallory is gorgeous and precious. It was so good to catch up with my friend and to see her life changing with the welcome of a new baby. Some other great friends visited too. It is really nice to have visitors to help keep my spirits up and to have someone /something to talk about!
Good news from the doctor today also! The spot on Harper's kidney that the doctor was concerned about has turned out to be nothing to be concerned about. Yay God! My doctor consulted with the high risk doctor and shared the reports. The report showed that Harper had fluid on one of her kidney's and the doctor would be concerned if it was higher than 7 (I am not sure 7 what: mm, ml etc...) and Harper's is 4.2. So that was relieving news.
Last night, I found a website that had a lot of information about bed rest, it was kind of an online support group/share group about bedrest. It had some funny antidotes and other interesting ways to pass my time :) As I say that, I can honestly say that the time here has not been awful. The weekdays go by fairly fast because I have a set routine of things to do. My routine is fairly boring: eat, shower, watch a few TV shows, eat, journal/blog, read, knit, surf the Internet, eat, watch some more TV sleep, repeat. In between all of these things they come and check on me and check my vitals, and I have to have a NST (non-stress test-hook me up to monitors to monitor baby) 4-5 times a day.
I have got to skype with Slayton the last three nights. It is so awesome! I feel like I am on Back To The Future. Technology is so cool! I get to read Slayton books and say prayers. It is a pretty good alternative to not being there! Slayton thinks it is pretty cool too.
Today marked day 13 here at the hospital. Let's hope I can make it another 13 :)
Good news from the doctor today also! The spot on Harper's kidney that the doctor was concerned about has turned out to be nothing to be concerned about. Yay God! My doctor consulted with the high risk doctor and shared the reports. The report showed that Harper had fluid on one of her kidney's and the doctor would be concerned if it was higher than 7 (I am not sure 7 what: mm, ml etc...) and Harper's is 4.2. So that was relieving news.
Last night, I found a website that had a lot of information about bed rest, it was kind of an online support group/share group about bedrest. It had some funny antidotes and other interesting ways to pass my time :) As I say that, I can honestly say that the time here has not been awful. The weekdays go by fairly fast because I have a set routine of things to do. My routine is fairly boring: eat, shower, watch a few TV shows, eat, journal/blog, read, knit, surf the Internet, eat, watch some more TV sleep, repeat. In between all of these things they come and check on me and check my vitals, and I have to have a NST (non-stress test-hook me up to monitors to monitor baby) 4-5 times a day.
I have got to skype with Slayton the last three nights. It is so awesome! I feel like I am on Back To The Future. Technology is so cool! I get to read Slayton books and say prayers. It is a pretty good alternative to not being there! Slayton thinks it is pretty cool too.
Today marked day 13 here at the hospital. Let's hope I can make it another 13 :)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Tuesday August 24
Yesterday DJ and I had a NICU consultation. It was extremely informative, but a little overwhelming. The nurse that came to visit us was very friendly and very helpful. When she first walked in, she said 'I hope this isn't weird for you, but I think I prayed for you yesterday at church.' She goes to Crossings, and her Sunday school class prayed for a lady named Amanda, who is 32 weeks pregnant and at Baptist. It was so cool to know that strangers are praying for us, and one of those God wink things because she works here in the NICU. She went over all of the things that we can expect if we were to deliver this week. She said that we could expect mostly similar outcomes if we delivered in the next two weeks, just baby Harper would be stronger each day she stays in. It was frightening and comforting all at the same moment. At least we can prepare ourselves as well as possible for a stay in the NICU. I know that I keep saying this, but thank goodness for the love and support of family and friends. I know that Harper is covered in prayers right now, and that gives me great comfort.
I also had another ultrasound yesterday. Last week on the ultrasound the doctor saw a suspicious spot on the ultrasound on one of Harper's kidneys and wanted to repeat the test again . The spot is still there. Today when she visited she explained what that could mean. In normal circumstances I would be sent to a high risk doctor to have more in-depth ultrasounds. As of right now, that is not possible seeing as how I would have to leave the hospital to visit that doctor. She is going to consult with them so see what our options are, so we will just have to see later in the week about that. She did say that it doesn't look that bad, it is just concerning. So there is another specific concern that you could lift up in prayers for us.
Today was a good day. Yesterday I asked my nurse if I could possibly get a different bed ( I had a labor and delivery bed, which is not the most comfortable bed seeing as it has to come apart for delivery). At about 11:00pm they delivered me a brand new air flow bed. It is really good. It pumps air through the bed so that patients like who are stuck in bed for awhile don't get pressure soreness. It is sort of like a water bed but with air. It is really comfy. I also had a physical therapist consult with me today. I was nervous about sitting all day in a bed, and concerned that by the time I leave here I won't be able to even walk around my house! She gave me some low impact exercises to keep my muscles working that I to do in my bed. I feel like a 90 year old doing my little leg presses, and arm presses! It will give me something to add to my VERY boring routine in the day, so that is good.
I have started knitting. YouTube has great videos that show everything. I worked a good portion of the day learning, and now feel comfortable enough to start a project. My mom also bought me a knifty knitter. It is pretty easy, but I feel like I am cheating, after spending the time to learn to knit. Hopefully, i can stick with it and have some projects to show for my work!
I asked for a webcam to borrow on facebook last night, and within the hour I had 5 people offer theirs! We got it set up and DJ and I skyped (video called) this morning. Tonight I am so excited to skype with Slayton. I have some books here and I am going to try to read him books at bedtime. I hope it is successful, because I miss that time the very most. Usually Slayton and I sit on his bed cuddle up and read books and say prayers together. So through the magic of technology I might be able to do that tonight, keep your fingers crossed!
Again Thank You so much for your continued prayers!
I also had another ultrasound yesterday. Last week on the ultrasound the doctor saw a suspicious spot on the ultrasound on one of Harper's kidneys and wanted to repeat the test again . The spot is still there. Today when she visited she explained what that could mean. In normal circumstances I would be sent to a high risk doctor to have more in-depth ultrasounds. As of right now, that is not possible seeing as how I would have to leave the hospital to visit that doctor. She is going to consult with them so see what our options are, so we will just have to see later in the week about that. She did say that it doesn't look that bad, it is just concerning. So there is another specific concern that you could lift up in prayers for us.
Today was a good day. Yesterday I asked my nurse if I could possibly get a different bed ( I had a labor and delivery bed, which is not the most comfortable bed seeing as it has to come apart for delivery). At about 11:00pm they delivered me a brand new air flow bed. It is really good. It pumps air through the bed so that patients like who are stuck in bed for awhile don't get pressure soreness. It is sort of like a water bed but with air. It is really comfy. I also had a physical therapist consult with me today. I was nervous about sitting all day in a bed, and concerned that by the time I leave here I won't be able to even walk around my house! She gave me some low impact exercises to keep my muscles working that I to do in my bed. I feel like a 90 year old doing my little leg presses, and arm presses! It will give me something to add to my VERY boring routine in the day, so that is good.
I have started knitting. YouTube has great videos that show everything. I worked a good portion of the day learning, and now feel comfortable enough to start a project. My mom also bought me a knifty knitter. It is pretty easy, but I feel like I am cheating, after spending the time to learn to knit. Hopefully, i can stick with it and have some projects to show for my work!
I asked for a webcam to borrow on facebook last night, and within the hour I had 5 people offer theirs! We got it set up and DJ and I skyped (video called) this morning. Tonight I am so excited to skype with Slayton. I have some books here and I am going to try to read him books at bedtime. I hope it is successful, because I miss that time the very most. Usually Slayton and I sit on his bed cuddle up and read books and say prayers together. So through the magic of technology I might be able to do that tonight, keep your fingers crossed!
Again Thank You so much for your continued prayers!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Monday August 23
The doctor visited with me this morning and it looks like I will be here indefinitely. My contractions don't seem to be stopping. They are controlled, but not stopped. The long term goal is to get me to 34 weeks. That is two weeks away. They will continue all medications and be as aggressive as possible for two more weeks, and then they will not have to be as aggressive and/or they will not stop anything. With that being said, each day that she is still inside is better.
I knew that this was coming, and I tried to prepare myself for the fact that I would probably be her for awhile. However, I am still having a hard time with the fact that this hospital room is going to be my home for that much longer. I know that this is the best place for me, and that Harper is going to be healthier if I am taken care of.
I am the type of person who needs to be in control to make me feel comfortable and safe, and this throws all of that out the window! I have to rely on so many others for everything right now. All I can do is sit in this bed and take care of Harper. With that being said, I can't begin to express how blessed I am. I have an awesome family that has stepped up and are taking care of everything. Everybody has been great in helping with Slayton and getting him where he needs to be. I also have great co-workers who are just taking care of everything at school for me.
I have read a book and am starting another and have read every magazines in publication :) I have my computer and a large collection of DVD's. If you have any suggestions for hobbies that I could start let me know! I have tried knitting before, but didn't have the patience/time, so I gave all of my supplies away (hahaha). I might try to start that up again. I am trying my best to stay positive and sane....keep us in your prayers~
I knew that this was coming, and I tried to prepare myself for the fact that I would probably be her for awhile. However, I am still having a hard time with the fact that this hospital room is going to be my home for that much longer. I know that this is the best place for me, and that Harper is going to be healthier if I am taken care of.
I am the type of person who needs to be in control to make me feel comfortable and safe, and this throws all of that out the window! I have to rely on so many others for everything right now. All I can do is sit in this bed and take care of Harper. With that being said, I can't begin to express how blessed I am. I have an awesome family that has stepped up and are taking care of everything. Everybody has been great in helping with Slayton and getting him where he needs to be. I also have great co-workers who are just taking care of everything at school for me.
I have read a book and am starting another and have read every magazines in publication :) I have my computer and a large collection of DVD's. If you have any suggestions for hobbies that I could start let me know! I have tried knitting before, but didn't have the patience/time, so I gave all of my supplies away (hahaha). I might try to start that up again. I am trying my best to stay positive and sane....keep us in your prayers~
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sunday August 21, 2010
Today's upper room devotional was perfect so I thought I would share with everyone.
After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you.-1 Peter 5:10 (NRSV)
Being on crutches again and unable to drive was frustrating for me. Friends were helpful, however, and made sure I got where I needed to go: church, Bible study, the doctor, and the grocery store.
Returning after one outing, as I made slow progress up the stairs to my apartment, my friend followed closely. With each step, she lightly placed her hand on my back.
"Your hand is comforting," I said. "It steadies me."
Often we find ourselves in circumstances where we need comfort. God, like a shepherd tending a flock with a staff, places a hand on us. God touches our hearts when we need it most, and we feel more at peace. God's peace keeps us steady in our trials. We're able to move through difficult times, overcoming temptation, doubt, and fear.
Sometimes God's comfort comes through our hearing or reading a passage of scripture. Or we may receive help and support from another believer. Many times God speaks through the Spirit in answer to prayer. However the help comes, we can always trust that God's comfort will steady us.
Paula Geister (Michigan, USA)
Dear Lord, help us to remember that you offer the peace and comfort we need to get through life's trials. Amen.
After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you.-1 Peter 5:10 (NRSV)
Being on crutches again and unable to drive was frustrating for me. Friends were helpful, however, and made sure I got where I needed to go: church, Bible study, the doctor, and the grocery store.
Returning after one outing, as I made slow progress up the stairs to my apartment, my friend followed closely. With each step, she lightly placed her hand on my back.
"Your hand is comforting," I said. "It steadies me."
Often we find ourselves in circumstances where we need comfort. God, like a shepherd tending a flock with a staff, places a hand on us. God touches our hearts when we need it most, and we feel more at peace. God's peace keeps us steady in our trials. We're able to move through difficult times, overcoming temptation, doubt, and fear.
Sometimes God's comfort comes through our hearing or reading a passage of scripture. Or we may receive help and support from another believer. Many times God speaks through the Spirit in answer to prayer. However the help comes, we can always trust that God's comfort will steady us.
Paula Geister (Michigan, USA)
Dear Lord, help us to remember that you offer the peace and comfort we need to get through life's trials. Amen.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Friday August 20th
Yesterday was a rough day. The doctor visited and told me I would be here through the weekend, and we would re-evaluate on Monday. In the back of my head I know that this is the best place for me, it is just taxing on the emotions. Slayton started school without me. He did awesome (as if we are surprised by this!) He came up to see me twice yesterday. My mom brought him to eat lunch with me, and he gave typical boy answers about school. I had to drag stuff out of him! At first he said that it was fun, expect when they talked about 'all of the rules'. Later he told me all the fun things that they did. In the evening Meghan and Tyler brought him up to have some family time with DJ and I. It was the most perfect part of the last few days. Slayton curled up in my little hospital bed with me and we watched some TV. Four year olds don't know how to express their emotions very clearly, but it is extremely clear that he misses his mommy, and his routine. I keep telling myself that this is just a bump in the road, and that in a few months he won't be bothered by this anymore. Even though everybody is trying their hardest to make this normal for him, and they are trying to keep him entertained he wants the boring life we had two weeks ago back. Tonight we are going to have a party here at the hospital. Friday nights at the Bruner household usually involve a movie and popcorn on the living room floor. Tonight we will adapt the location and have pizza, movie and popcorn here at the hospital.
This is the first time in my 7 years teaching that my class started without me. It is funny how much I put into my work, and I haven't even been thinking of it too much. I think that God knows that I would stress out about school, so he placed the right people in my life to help with it so I would not even have to worry about it! Thanks to Julie Perdue, Teresa McCormick and Debbie Boswell, and Carla Smith. I know that lots of others are helping so much and in ways that I don't see. Jina Tolle and Melanie Forth have also been very helpful getting my room put together.
Today I am going to meditate on Phillipians 4 (The Message)
6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
10-14I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.
This is the first time in my 7 years teaching that my class started without me. It is funny how much I put into my work, and I haven't even been thinking of it too much. I think that God knows that I would stress out about school, so he placed the right people in my life to help with it so I would not even have to worry about it! Thanks to Julie Perdue, Teresa McCormick and Debbie Boswell, and Carla Smith. I know that lots of others are helping so much and in ways that I don't see. Jina Tolle and Melanie Forth have also been very helpful getting my room put together.
Today I am going to meditate on Phillipians 4 (The Message)
6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
10-14I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Thursday August 19th
Today marks the first day of school for Slayton. He is a pre-Ker! He is full of all kinds of emotions that I did not even know he had! He says he is nervous about meeting new friends. My son, nervous! He can light up any room he enters, and can charm everyone he meets, yet he is actually nervous. He is dealing with the fact that I am not going to be right down the hall. All summer long we have talked about how we would take him to school, and that mommy would be there right down the hall. As I write this I know that realistically I am the one who is having the harder time, but all of these things to register with a little 4 year old.
DJ is taking him, along with Mimi, Gami, Jessica, and Meghan will be there working. They have a video camera to document the event for me. We will be the obnoxious family making a pig dramatic production. (At least we are willing to admit this!)
He has the most awesome teacher, Susan Teague. She will take great care of him and he will have so much fun and learn so much!
Looks like I will be here through the weekend. Monday marks 32 weeks, and the doctors feel much better about delivering a baby at 32 weeks vs. now. Once I do go home, I will be released to strict bed rest at home, so the only big change will be the scenery. I will have to rely on friends and family even more once I return home because I won't have a personal nurse to help get things for me. It is very hard for me to accept help from others. It is that control freak gene that I have been cursed/blessed with. I know that this time I will have to push that far out of range and let others do things for me with an extremely gracious heart. I am praying that I can follow doctors orders, and be a good patient.
I will update later about how the first day went!
DJ is taking him, along with Mimi, Gami, Jessica, and Meghan will be there working. They have a video camera to document the event for me. We will be the obnoxious family making a pig dramatic production. (At least we are willing to admit this!)
He has the most awesome teacher, Susan Teague. She will take great care of him and he will have so much fun and learn so much!
Looks like I will be here through the weekend. Monday marks 32 weeks, and the doctors feel much better about delivering a baby at 32 weeks vs. now. Once I do go home, I will be released to strict bed rest at home, so the only big change will be the scenery. I will have to rely on friends and family even more once I return home because I won't have a personal nurse to help get things for me. It is very hard for me to accept help from others. It is that control freak gene that I have been cursed/blessed with. I know that this time I will have to push that far out of range and let others do things for me with an extremely gracious heart. I am praying that I can follow doctors orders, and be a good patient.
I will update later about how the first day went!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday August 17, 2010
I have a really great view from my hospital room. I can see to downtown and the Oklahoma City skyline. Today has been a dreary rainy kind of day, just the kind of day for staying in bed (hahaha). Boredom is starting to set in. Emotions for everyone are kind of a roller coaster. I miss my little boy, and he misses his mommy and daddy. His routine is all out of whack. THANKFULLY, we have awesome family that jumps in without hesitation to help with whatever we need. Slayton is currently on a rotation between staying with Gami and Pops, and Mimi and Papa. Dj is going to take a break from staying here at the hospital with me tonight to stay at home with Slayton. They both could use each other right now, along with a good night's sleep in their own beds.
I do not want to complain or even jinx anything by saying anything bad because I KNOW that I have to stay put. Several friends and family members are so encouraging with their own experiences that they have shared with me. A sweet minister from my Church, Robyn, yesterday reminded me that at least I know something good will come out of being here at the hospital. I get to take a present home with me in the end, unlike so many other people stuck in the hospital. I am relying on my faith to get me through this journey. I feel confident that this is just a bump in the road!
I do not want to complain or even jinx anything by saying anything bad because I KNOW that I have to stay put. Several friends and family members are so encouraging with their own experiences that they have shared with me. A sweet minister from my Church, Robyn, yesterday reminded me that at least I know something good will come out of being here at the hospital. I get to take a present home with me in the end, unlike so many other people stuck in the hospital. I am relying on my faith to get me through this journey. I feel confident that this is just a bump in the road!
Harper's Bizare
Here is the latest update on our little bun in the oven, Harper Grace. Today marks 31 weeks preggo for momma. At 29 weeks I was but on modified bed rest because little Harper was anxious to meet friends and family! The weather has been extreemly hot, I've been keeping up with a very busy four year old boy and trying to get ready to start school. Probably a combination of these things contributed to her little attention seeking behavior. After a week of (for the most part) bed rest Friday August 6th my Dr. decided to take more measures to make sure Harper would not make her apperance too early.
I went to the Dr. on Friday and had a non-stress test. The test showed that I was having contractions and that the baby was fine. I was put on medication (brethine) to try and stop contractions. The medication did not work as prescribed and very early Saturday we made the trip to the hospital.
Once we checked in the Hospital the nurses did some more checking and decided that I was going into pre-term labor and more aggressive actions needed to be taken. They put me on much stronger medication and monitored me very closely. Saturday and Sunday I was monitored closely. Monday I finally remained stable enough to decrease/change medications.
Today I continue to remain 'stable' enough for monitored bed rest here at the hospital. The doctor just visited with me and we discussed what would happen a little down the road. I am in a weird Limbo waiting stage. Since we really can't predict what will happen in the future we have to take it a little at a time. Today, the doctor says that if I remain stable with no contractions and no changes, then on Thursday they would re-evaluate and see if I would be able to go home on Friday. Often times though they would like people to remain at the hospital because often they send someone home just to see them return with pre-term labor within 2 days. I will not be returning to work until after Harper's arrival :)
Watch for more posts, I have a lot of time on my hands ;) Thanks for your prayers and support!
I went to the Dr. on Friday and had a non-stress test. The test showed that I was having contractions and that the baby was fine. I was put on medication (brethine) to try and stop contractions. The medication did not work as prescribed and very early Saturday we made the trip to the hospital.
Once we checked in the Hospital the nurses did some more checking and decided that I was going into pre-term labor and more aggressive actions needed to be taken. They put me on much stronger medication and monitored me very closely. Saturday and Sunday I was monitored closely. Monday I finally remained stable enough to decrease/change medications.
Today I continue to remain 'stable' enough for monitored bed rest here at the hospital. The doctor just visited with me and we discussed what would happen a little down the road. I am in a weird Limbo waiting stage. Since we really can't predict what will happen in the future we have to take it a little at a time. Today, the doctor says that if I remain stable with no contractions and no changes, then on Thursday they would re-evaluate and see if I would be able to go home on Friday. Often times though they would like people to remain at the hospital because often they send someone home just to see them return with pre-term labor within 2 days. I will not be returning to work until after Harper's arrival :)
Watch for more posts, I have a lot of time on my hands ;) Thanks for your prayers and support!
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